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a funny story
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him
Rover or Spot. I call mine Live sex. Now,
that name has been very embarrassing to me. I went to the
the city to redo the dog tags, told the clerk that I
would like a license for Live sex. She said, I would like to
have one too! Then I said, But she is a dog! She
said she didn't care what she looked like. I said, You don't
understand. I have had Live sex since I was nine years
old. He replied, You must have been quite a strong
boy.
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would
like to have Live sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until
the wedding was over. I said, Live sex has played a big part
in my life and my whole world revolves around Live sex.
He said he didn't want to hear about my personal live sex needs,
and would not marry us. I told him everyone would like to see
Live sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the
Justice of the Peace. My family is not allowed in the church.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
When we got to the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a
room and a room for Live sex. He said that every room in the
motel is a place for live sex. You don't understand, I can't
sleep well without Live sex. The clerk said, Me too!
One day I entered Live sex in a dog show. Before the competition
the dog ran off. A contestant asked me what I was looking for.
I told him that I was going to have Live sex in the contest.
He said that I should have sold my own tickets. You don't understand,
I said, I hoped to have Live sex on TV. He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for
custody of the dog. I said, Your Honor, I had LIve sex before I
was married but Live sex left me afterwards. The Judge said
Me too!
Last night the dog ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for
her. A policeman came and asked me what I was doing in the alley
at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, I'm looking for Live
sex. My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more
damn troubles with that dog than ever. Why just the other day
when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist,
she asked me, What seems to be the trouble? I replied,
Live sex has been my best friend all my life but
now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer I was so
lonely and the doctor said, Look mister, you should
understand that Live sex isn't a man's best friend so get
yourself a dog.
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